Stuck Between I Dont Wanna Feel That Type of Hurt Again

Many people enter the therapy process with minimal awareness of their trauma history.

When the trauma survivors are dissociative, they have the ability to block out an awareness of their trauma. They may know that their family had problems, or that their family was dysfunctional, etc, but they may believe they were never abused.

child abuse (Photo credit: Southworth Sailor)

However, blocking out conscious awareness of trauma does not mean that the survivors have no effects of that trauma.

Using denial and dissociative skills does not mean that the abuse did not happen. Denial means that the person simply is refusing to acknowledge or accept the fact that they were traumatized. They are pretending or not realizing they were not hurt, when they were actually hurt very badly.

Even if the memories of abuse are hidden from the survivor's awareness, blocked trauma / unresolved trauma creates very noticeable and obvious symptoms that can be easily seen in their every day lives.

People will enter therapy aware of some of the following symptoms, but they may not realize these complications are suggestive of unresolved trauma issues.

20 Signs of Unresolved Trauma

1. Addictive behaviors

Addictive behaviors excessively turning to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling as a way to push difficult emotions and upsetting trauma content further away.

2. Inability to tolerate conflicts

An inability to tolerate conflicts with others – having a fear of conflict, running from conflict, avoiding conflict, maintaining skewed perceptions of conflict

3. Inability to tolerate intense feelings

An inability to tolerate intense feelings, preferring to avoid feeling by any number of ways

This powerful photo of emotional pain and inner turmoil was taken by ShaylinJanelle photography. http://shaylinjanelle.tumblr.com — This powerful photo of emotional pain and inner turmoil was taken by ShaylinJanelle photography.
https://vsco.co/shaylinjanelle/

4. Innate belief that they are bad

An innate belief that they are bad, worthless, without value or importance

5. Black and white thinking

Black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking, even if this approach ends up harming themselves

6. Suicidal thoughts

Chronic and repeated suicidal thoughts and feelings

7. Disorganized attachment patterns

Disorganized attachment patterns – having a variety of short but intense relationships, refusing to have any relationships, dysfunctional relationships, frequent love/hate relationships

8. Dissociation

Dissociation, spacing out, losing time, missing time, feeling like you are two completely different people (or more than two)

9. Eating Disorders

Eating disorders – anorexia, bulimia, obesity, etc.

10. Excessive Sense of Self-Blame

Excessive sense of self-blame – taking on inappropriate responsibility as if everything is their fault, making excessive apologies

11. Inappropriate Attachments

Inappropriate attachments to mother figures or father figures, even with dysfunctional or unhealthy people

12. Intense Anxiety

Intense anxiety and repeated panic attacks

13. Intrusive Thoughts, Flashbacks, Body Memories, Nightmares

Intrusive thoughts, upsetting visual images, flashbacks, body memories / unexplained body pain, or distressing nightmares

14. Depression

Ongoing, chronic depression

15. Victim Role

Repeatedly acting from a victim role in current day relationships

16. Rescuer Role

Repeatedly taking on the rescuer role, even when inappropriate to do so

17. Self-Harm

Self-harm, self-mutilation, self-injury, self-destruction

(More educational videos about self injury and other related topics available below.)

18. Suicidal actions

Suicidal actions and behaviors, failed attempts to suicide

19. Perpetrator Role

Taking the perpetrator role / angry aggressor in relationships

20. Intense Fears

Unexplained but intense fears of people, places, things

Stop ignoring child abuse (Photo credit: quinn.anya)

These same symptoms can be applied for survivors already working in therapy. Attending regular therapy does not mean the clients have resolved their trauma issues or that they are even working in that general direction. Many therapy clients will continue to deny, dissociate, and refuse to look at their trauma even if they are aware of their daily struggles.

If you are experiencing a number of the symptoms listed above, ask yourself if you are truly ready to address your trauma issues, or if you find it more comfortable to continue living with these struggles.

Is it harder to face how you were abused and who abused you? Or is it harder to live a life full of depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide, troubled relationships, extreme fears, physical pain, and addictions?

Running from your trauma history will not help you feel better. In the short-run, you might not have to face the issues, but the cost in the long-run of unresolved trauma weighs more heavily than you might suspect.

Your life can be better than it is.

Be brave – face your trauma issues!

I wish you the very best in your healing journey.

Warmly,

Kathy

For more information about Dissociative Identity Disorder, watch my video playlist below.

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Source: https://www.discussingdissociation.com/2009/07/20-signs-of-unresolved-trauma/